THE CAT WHO KILLS THE CURIOUS

DING BALL

You’ve all likely heard of a Ding-bat, you may even know a few. But how many of you have heard of The Ding-Ball?  The Ding-Ball is the most elusive of cougars, living in the Maine woods.

Its taste for human flesh is so insatiable it will stalk in the darkness of the forest, waiting for the perfect meal.

This larger than life cat doesn’t only purr, however. Once it has its sights on you, it will sing the most melodic tones to lure the unsuspecting victims to their doom. The entranced human will be met with a demise worse than any wild animal attack imaginable.

I think I am going to call this trademark attack method the “sing and swing.”

Its tail is equipped with a hairless ball at the end, resembling a mace-like weapon from the medieval times. Once within swinging distance, it throws back its tail and with one swift blow, crack the skull of whoever was curious enough to follow the enchanting song.  

Due to their shifty characteristics that only a member of the feline family is capable of, a large portion of Maine natives don’t even believe there are cougars in the state at all. This gives the Ding-Ball even more of an advantage over its kill.

Whenever you are out in the woods and get the feeling that you are being watched, be careful. Before you know it you could be under the trance of the Ding-Balls song and you will become the felines’ main course before you quite literally know what hit you.