THE MESSY OF WESSIE

When the strained version of the Loch Ness Monster was gaining speed in Westbrook just a few years ago, I lived only a couple miles from the supposed Wessie sightings. The Presumpscot River ran around my neighborhood and I could not go anywhere, not even in my front yard, without hearing about this dreaded snake that may snatch your cat or small dog up in a heartbeat.  

The first mention of it was when a woman called in a report of seeing a ginormous snake down by the river. This was reported on the local news and that seemed to be all it took for this snake to become legendary. (We don’t have much to do around here.) People would take to the river in hopes of catching a glimpse of this creature, some claiming it was in fact, their snake, hoping they could get a few more cameras pointed in their directions.

The second mention that I recall was actually from a police officer. It was reported that he saw a large snake eating a large animal, supposedly a beaver. Here’s the issue I have with this-

First you have a monstrosity of a reptile slithering around, warnings have been issued to stay away and be careful etc. Then you have, not just someone, but a cop-who is the person you would call if you caught sight of this thing-who is assumed to be armed-and he just, what? Drives by? Doesn’t call in for help or try to get a closer look, or do much of anything else? Then you have the fact that a snake is eating a beaver. A giant snake is eating a beaver. Think about that. Take all the time you need. All I’m going to say is, something smells fishy.

The third installment of the Wessie mystery was the snake skin. The pictures of the skin seemed planted to me. I don’t know if someone positioned it for the photo op, or if it was just neatly placed in an area where it was sure to be found. I’m not an expert on reptiles or their behavior, but I would be surprised if snakes are OCD with their dirty laundry.

Now we have the results to the skin. Lab results concluded that the skin actually belonged to the biggest snake in the world, a female green anaconda to be exact. The results to the test seemed to dampen the interests of a lot of people. After all, legends and folklore are supposed to completely befuddle test results. No mystery serpent here, only an illegal pet that was either let go or got loose.

The t-shirts and mugs that were being sold slowly lost the interest of tourists, locals, reptile enthusiasts, even paranormal researchers. Then winter came and all hope was lost that Westbrook would have its own legendary monster, since an anaconda would not be able to survive the brutal cold.

And so goes the legend of Wessie. If the ambition is there, I’m sure a good campfire story could come out of it. “THE LARGER THEN LIFE SNAKE THAT ATE BEAVERS” perhaps.